Expectations are a killer

I have high expectations.

(okay, okay, very high expectations)

Ask anyone who knows me. I am constantly striving to be the very best at whatever I am attempting. Which also translates to having high expectations of those around me.

This can be problematic.

For example, when I was in high school and not getting very good grades (flunking history and english), and there were talks of “Gosh, I hope she graduates.” I decided I would not only graduate, but also have multiple majors (History, Sociology, Business), pay for college in cash and get my MBA. Yes, I have an MBA, and I have zero in student loans.

Most recently, last year when I sat down to write and publish a book, I didn’t just write one…. I wrote seven.
With four more currently taunting me from my desk. Do I feel as though I have met my goal of ‘writing a book’?

No.

Why you ask?

Because although I have written seven books, I still don’t feel as though ‘I am done’, I don’t feel as though they are long enough, or descriptive enough, or have enough information, or a better story or, or, or ‘they are good enough’.

There… I said it,

I don’t feel like I am doing it good enough.

I don’t feel as though I am doing ‘LIFE’ good enough.
All of these accomplishments I have had in my life really don’t mean much to me, because, I look back and think:

“Gosh, I really could have done that better.”

This is problematic and causes me tremendous stress, and aparently there is a word for it:

(Look it up, I’m not lying: Atelophobia)

This fear and Stress translates into tension in my friendships, relationships and interactions with other human beings. Not exactly optimum for a sustainable future.

My logical brain KNOWS this.

But, my emotions and feelings… they could give a Rat’s Ass.

THIS IS WHY I AM *SOMEWHAT* OBSESSED WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT

It is why I have bucked against the norm, why I have done things my own way. The expectations of ‘Normal’ drive me crazy with stress and anxiety.

This is also why I look into alternative therapies,
Things like:

*’How to ‘retrain your brain’ workshops = Meditation, Law of Attraction, Esoteric Magic and Empowerment techniques

*Different nutritional programs = Vegitarian, Paleo, and Raw food diets

*Movement and Exercise programs = Swimming, Lifting, Dancing and Martial Arts techniques.

… and you guessed it, I will be writing about all of it. So you can benefit too.

Today’s tip: Don’t over-commit – Avoid scheduling things back to back or fit too much into one day.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Expectations are a killer

  1. omg i relate so much to this…and i just thought of a topic for my blog that could tie in to this… i know one thing if i don’t find a way to fix mine im going to go bonkers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s