God is a Vampire

Think about it.
First and foremost, Vampires can’t come in your house until you INVITE them in. That is also very true. You must invite God in, apparently he can’t just storm into your heart.
Okay, so saying that, I will also tell you why I think God is a Vampire.

Vampires are loners. As far as I know, God claims to be the ‘one and only’.
Vampires are strong willed and confident. God, same. Almost bordering on arrogant.
Vampires are immortal. God, same same.
Vampires are moody and temperamental. Depending on what chapter you read in the bible, God is very moody and temperamental.

Did you read the story of Saddam and Gomorra? Personally, I think God just got hungry. And the whole rivers of blood thing…. who are you kidding?!
But finally, seriously, if you were ever to come face to face with a vampire, what would be the first thing you would do…. You would say

“Oh God,”

Yeah. Think about that.

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One thought on “God is a Vampire

  1. The God of the old testament seemed to want nothing more than to be given the blood of oxen, sheep, doves and pigeons. Whether for a peace offering, a sin offering a wave offering, he always insist upon blood. Blood to be sprinkled on the alter, the horns of the alter, the entrance to the tabernacle and so on. Now in the new testament, as God is born into human form, he tells us "drink this is my blood the blood of the new covenant". It is said that through ingesting his blood at communion we receive immortality. Is that not a better argument that He shares the most basic aspects of vampire? He is immortal, has a thirst for blood and the assertion that by drinking his, we, ourselves, become immortal.Or is it that the enemies of God created a monster that embodies some of His characteristics as a way of defaming God?

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