To tightly bind, and unwind.

I was bound, wound and tied up in a life I didn’t remember signing up for. The same thing, day in, day out, day in, day out and I just couldn’t take it… not anymore.
I was ready to … SNAP!

Yeah… that’s classic. It’s a little thing called stress. But, I had no idea.

All I wanted, was for it to go away. It hurts… not just my neck, legs, shoulders, but it hurt my head, and it hurt my heart. I’m not just talking about the heart attack or stroke it would have caused me in 20 years. I’m talking about the deep anger, resentment and other deeply painful emotions.

It was a deep pain I felt from knowing Something just ain’t right!
And all I wanted, was for it to go away.
And I didn’t care how.
I lashed out at the ones I loved, destroyed my relationships, indulged in risk-taking behaviors trying to numb myself just enough to have a brief respite.
Anything to take the pain away.
Anything to distract me from this ‘life’ which was not making me happy.
I would have paid any amount o f money, taken any tonic, or potion. I ate gleefully and gluttonously, all the sugary goodness I could find. Anything I could just in hopes to make the ‘bad man’, the hurt, the pain, the unhappiness… just to make it go away, even temporarily.

I’ve done it.
Done it all.
I know, and I almost lost my life and my soul in the process.
So what happened?
I was laying on the floor with and empty bottle of vicoden and an empty bottle of wine in my hands, I was given two choices.
Needing to make some serious changes, I decided right then and there, I would never feel like that again. Furthermore, I would do everything in my power to make sure no one I knew EVER felt like I did in that moment. Utterly Hopeless.

So, I woke up… and changed my life.

… and the Adventure began.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s