There are 96 days left…. Do you need help?

A little over 13 weeks…. just 96 short days left until April 15th.
Yes… it’s that time again.
Taxes.

Do you need help?
Are you overwhelmed with the shoeboxes full of receipts that are stuffed in the back of your closet?

I’m here for you.

First – Take a deep breath. No… really – A DEEP breath, the kind that tickles your belly button and you can feel in your toes.

Second - Squish your shoulders up as high as they can go in your neck … tighter, tighter, tighter…. okay – RELEASE!

Finally - Make ten tiny circles with your wrists and ankles…. great! Now, change directions and do ten more tiny circles.

Feel better?
Good.

Here is the good news, tax season will be easier because:

1. You have started early! – Like now. It will give you three good solid months to gather, check, double check and triple your numbers before you have to send in your return.

2. You made a donation to something! – There have unfortunately been many disasters this last year, but the good news is you can claim any charitable contributions to disaster relief as deductions! And NO, contributions to your favorite political candidate (disaster or not), are NOT TAX DEDUCTIBLE. Only donations to federally recognized charities are deductible, here is a great IRS Charity Search Tool website to help if you have questions.

3. You made a major life change! – Get married? Move? Go back to school? Make energy saving improvements on your house? Start your own business? All of those events qualify for deductions! Yay!

4. You have investments! Don’t forget it when doing your returns, lots of good deductions. If you don’t currently have any investments, but are interested in how this could help, go here for more information, they are great, knowledgeable people ready to help you.

5. You can always contact me! – I am here for you. Even if I have to come to your house and sort through the receipts myself, I will help you through the process.

THEN

Breathe – In through the nose, slowly, deeply, and out through the mouth. Close your eyes and do it again. Scrunch your toes up when you breathe in, and relax when you breath out. In and out. Repeat

NOW.

Get up and go for a walk – Lift your arms over your head and swing them around. Walk and stretch and swing for at least 10 minutes, and tell yourself:

“I can do anything. I am amazing.”

Because you are.

Find more stress-busting tips HERE

And don’t make next year as difficult, manage your money better by following a budget. Need help with that? Check this out.

Monday? Glad it is over.

Monday’s don’t usually faze me, but this one was a doozy.

Thanks to the Mama’s and the Papa’s, the Carpenters, Boomtown Rats and, my personal favorite, the Bangles, I just might make it through.

p.s. Perhaps it was the transition back to the ‘real world’ after being in the heaven called Lopez Island which made it so tough…. either way, I’m glad I get to start over tomorrow.

Opinion: Walking a mile in her shoes

I saw this on my Tumbler feed the other day courtesy of Wil Wheaton. First, if you don’t know who Will Wheaton is, you, my friend, are in for a rare treat. He is, a Demi-God in the vast Universe known as the Internet, as well as the dorky cute kid named Wesley Crusher on Star Trek Next Generation.

Remember him now?

This is his Universe: (click here for a link to everything he touches)

(oh and p.s. he has also touched The Bloggess – hopefully with her permission, but you can see the pictures here and here)

Anyway, this post really isn’t about Wil Wheaton (or The Bloggess – sorry). It is about something that he REPOSTED that I saw and thought was worth pointing out and having a conversation.

This was the re-post:

************

“We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him.

The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.

“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.”

The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked.

“So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.””

************

Chew on that for a bit my friends, and tell me your thoughts.

My humble opinion:

It is so easy to judge. So easy to cast stones. But it seems only when the shoe is on the other foot, does one realize that, in fact, the shoe doesn’t fit so well.

Respect is more than just a two way street. It is something which radiates and orbits from your entire being. When you respect yourself and respect everyone around you (in words, thoughts and actions) those respectful vibrations pour forth in all directions like rays from the sun. (I know, that sounds a little woo-woo).

My point is:
Times are changing. Which means the way we think about things has to change too. Namely how we interact with each other. It seems as though our culture, bred from war, continues to propagate that energy. From the ideas and verbal assaults about marriage (gay, straight or interracial), the war about religion/beliefs, war over politics, the war of the sexes (hello healthcare/reproductive health issue) and let’s not forget the war which has been going on for over 10 years in an area that, for all intensive purposes, was the cradle of civilization.

Isn’t it about time to change things?
Isn’t it time to propogate peace, respect and kindness rather than aggression and war? It sure would relieve a lot of stress.
It all begins with you.

Embrace your Trajectory!

Much of the stress in our life is caused by doing things we would rather not be doing. Expectations of others (and ourselves) which we are trying to live up to.
Well, my friends, I am here to tell you,
Stop it.

Stop trying to live for someone else, be what they want you to be, and fulfilling an imaginary expectation that you will never fulfill.

Just stop it now.

Instead, Embrace your Trajectory!
You are an amazing person with talents, gifts, abilities and passions that are just waiting to be shared with the world. Embrace those things! It is the simple questions of:

* What were you born to do?
* What does your heart tell you to do?

Most of our lives we waste spend chasing food, sex, attention, knowledge, security and – most of all – money. I’m not saying that these things are not important, what i am saying is that these things become very empty very fast if we aren’t living a life we love.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way.

It’s not easy to take steps toward doing what you love for a living, but the three steps are simple.

First: Identify your passion.

I found, I loved writing. I loved writing even more when I was traveling. The change in scenery, the new people and cultures just seemed to spurn my creative juices. My passion is traveling and writing. That is it, pretty simple.

Second: Develop Competency
Take a class, improve your skills somehow. You don’t have to be the best, your passion will make up for lack of natural talent. But, you do need to constantly improve.
I flunked English in high school, and I do not have an MFA or any writing credentials or education under my belt. But, I love it AND, I am willing to put some work in to make up for my lack of formal education. Which means, I’m reading more than I ever have, I am going to writers workshops and meet ups, and studying.

Third: Find a way to market yourself doing what you love.
Tell everyone you know what you are doing, what your passion is, what your dreams and goals are. I bet you will be surprised at how much support you get. Set up Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler and other Social Media pages for what you are doing. Look into partnerships, collaborations and other ways of getting the word out. Go to festivals, meet-ups, and get out there!

I write about this, because I am still in the midst of this process. It is a daunting task and I understand why more people stay in lives and jobs they hate rather than take a proactive approach to change.
Change causes stress.
Unhappiness causes stress.
It ends up being a damned if you do, damned if you don’t scenerio.

HOWEVER (this is a big however), I do know of some people who have done these things very well. Forged the way for people like me (a list of these folks are below).

Besides wouldn’t you rather live with a smile on your face doing what you love?

List of awesome people who are living their passion.
Nye Walker – Computer & Website awesomeness
Angel True – Life Coach
Endi Clark – A Producer of Bellydance Uncorked
Krisha Cat – Owner of Pole for the Soul
Katrina McCoy – Owner of Skin Deep Dance
Allen Sparks – Artist and Craftsman
Caelan Huntress – Pura Vida MultiMedia

There are a ton of other people out there (many who don’t show up on a google search – and even more who I have forgotten to list) with incredible talents and abilities they have yet to advertise. Shop local! Support the people who are pursuing their passions, and take a step today to cultivate and embrace your own trajectory!

(and if you are still stressed, you can always get one of my books)

Expectations are a killer

I have high expectations.

(okay, okay, very high expectations)

Ask anyone who knows me. I am constantly striving to be the very best at whatever I am attempting. Which also translates to having high expectations of those around me.

This can be problematic.

For example, when I was in high school and not getting very good grades (flunking history and english), and there were talks of “Gosh, I hope she graduates.” I decided I would not only graduate, but also have multiple majors (History, Sociology, Business), pay for college in cash and get my MBA. Yes, I have an MBA, and I have zero in student loans.

Most recently, last year when I sat down to write and publish a book, I didn’t just write one…. I wrote seven.
With four more currently taunting me from my desk. Do I feel as though I have met my goal of ‘writing a book’?

No.

Why you ask?

Because although I have written seven books, I still don’t feel as though ‘I am done’, I don’t feel as though they are long enough, or descriptive enough, or have enough information, or a better story or, or, or ‘they are good enough’.

There… I said it,

I don’t feel like I am doing it good enough.

I don’t feel as though I am doing ‘LIFE’ good enough.
All of these accomplishments I have had in my life really don’t mean much to me, because, I look back and think:

“Gosh, I really could have done that better.”

This is problematic and causes me tremendous stress, and aparently there is a word for it:

(Look it up, I’m not lying: Atelophobia)

This fear and Stress translates into tension in my friendships, relationships and interactions with other human beings. Not exactly optimum for a sustainable future.

My logical brain KNOWS this.

But, my emotions and feelings… they could give a Rat’s Ass.

THIS IS WHY I AM *SOMEWHAT* OBSESSED WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT

It is why I have bucked against the norm, why I have done things my own way. The expectations of ‘Normal’ drive me crazy with stress and anxiety.

This is also why I look into alternative therapies,
Things like:

*’How to ‘retrain your brain’ workshops = Meditation, Law of Attraction, Esoteric Magic and Empowerment techniques

*Different nutritional programs = Vegitarian, Paleo, and Raw food diets

*Movement and Exercise programs = Swimming, Lifting, Dancing and Martial Arts techniques.

… and you guessed it, I will be writing about all of it. So you can benefit too.

Today’s tip: Don’t over-commit – Avoid scheduling things back to back or fit too much into one day.

Tax-opolypse

It is a scene out of a sheer horror flick, and lived by thousands in the country….
Hunched over your desk, late at night on April 14th, drowning in a pile of papers and forms, receipts and notes, trying to make heads or tails of dividends, interest, capital gains, losses, deductions, credits, and exemptions you are entitled to in order to pay as little tax as possible, shuffling through 87 pages of instructions to fill out a two page 1040 tax form, you have just transformed into ….
A TAX ZOMBIE!

Don’t worry, don’t worry *holding hand up* I have been known to slay a few zombies in my life, and I am here to help.

First – take a deep breath. No… really – A DEEP breath, the kind that tickles your belly button and you can feel in your toes.

Second squish your shoulders up as high as they can go in your neck … tighter, tighter, tighter…. okay – RELEASE!

Finally, make tiny circles with your wrists and ankles…. change directions.

Feel better?
Good.

To feel even better, below are a few tax tricks and tips for help with the coming zombie apocalypse on April 14th, as well as some techniques for reducing a bit of the stress in your life you might be feeling.

1. Start Early! – Like now. It will give you a good solid month to check, double check and triple check your return before you send it in.

2. Charitable Contributions – There are thousands of non-profits that need your help. Any donation can be tax deductible as long as it was made sometime in 2011.

3. Did you make any major life changes? Get married? Move? Go back to school? Make energy saving improvements on your house? Start your own business? All of those events qualify for deductions.

4. Do you have investments? Don’t forget it when doing your returns, lots of good deductions.

The only difference between the tax man and the taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~ Mark Twain

Still feel like the money monster is out to get you? My book will help. I promise. You should buy it.

Still stressed?
Stress Sucks.
We all know it does.
Below are four easy tricks to reduce some stress in your life.

1. Breathe – It’s so easy, but we totally forget that we need to breathe to stay functioning at our optimum levels. Take 10-20 minutes a day and sit quietly doing nothing but focusing on your breathing. Inhale and release.

2. Balance – Keep your elements (earth, water, air and fire) in balance! Take a few minutes and connect to these elements to gain better health, vitality and wellness. There are more details in my book HERE.

3. Endorphin Release – This means Move! Dance! Run! Have Sex (Orgasms are a great endorphin release)! With nicer weather on the way, there are thousands of parks just begging to have their trails used again!

4. Relax – There is really nothing better than a soak in a hot tub, massage, or resting for just a little bit in a sauna.

STILL STRESSED?
Buy this. It will guide you through reducing the stress in your life in an easy step by step way.

Stress is at the root of it.

Stress is a Holistic problem, and we need holistic answers.

Most people suffer and treat symptoms with what is ‘wrong’ with them without ever addressing the root problem.

Stress.

No two people respond to stress triggers in the same way, each reaction varies based upon their upbringing, triggers, mental and emotional state, past injuries (physical, mental and emotional) and a host of other factors. Symptoms can manifest as everything from headaches to insomnia, anxiety to a chronic upset stomach, moodiness and depression to heart attacks and strokes. If left ‘unchecked’, Stress can and will effect every single part of your life.

When I was younger, I swam competitively for sixteen years in addition to playing volleyball in high school and eventually college. The transition from participant to coach was a natural and easy one, coaching each sport for 4+ years afterwards. The same could be said for how I started a ‘stress management’ business (writing books, teaching classes and doing one-on-one coaching). The truth is, I don’t handle stress well. I suffer tremendously in my body from past athletic injuries and car/motorcycle wrecks. My emotions and moods become unstable when I am overtaxed or triggered (due to a long-standing battle with PTSD). Overall, my body, mind and emotions are sensitive to external stress-inducing factors. This is something I will have to address every day for the rest of my life.

Knowing this about myself, I search far and wide for holistic practicers (read: not a doctor quick to start prescribing unnecessary medication. Read further: Not a doctor who is a pawn of prescription drug companies). I needed a doctor who address problems and doesn’t just treat symptoms.

In Seattle, Washington, I have found this in Dr. Christopher Hill at New Balance Chiropractic in Seattle Washington. Dr. Hill is not only personable and friendly, but the first question he asks when sitting down with you is: “What is going on in your life?” and then LISTENS to what you have to say. From the very beginning, he wants to know the story, the reason, the triggering problem – not just the symptom, before he even considers prescribing ‘treatment’. I think it is because his own personal story is pretty incredible (read it on his website here). With the help of Dr. Hill, I am currently addressing some long term health problems I have had, with the added bonus of tangible, measurable goals going forward. I am truly thankful I found him. In addition to being a great Holistic practitioner and Chiropractic doctor, he speaks fluent spanish and does a (free) weekly health and wellness radio show. The man is service in the flesh. He absolutely lives an example of giving back to the community by providing health care to thousands of people who would otherwise not be able to afford it. If anyone deserves your patronage and support, it is this man who will give it back ten-fold.

If you are in Portland, Oregon, I would highly recommend Karin Edwards the Portland Rolfer for Structural Integration. Especially if you are working through mobility issues. She helped me in assisting a self-healing process which included breaking up scar tissue which was impairing my mobility. She is kind, gentle and well-educated in how small changes in your body can lead to a greater overall health. She offers classes on a regular basis and is doing a FREE Rolfing clinic for children in May.

Please support these local practitioners who are passionate about their work and are tremendous assets to our communities.

If you have a holistic or naturopathic doctor that has helped you deal with stress-induced problems, please feel free to leave their contact info and why you recommend them in a comment.

And don’t forget, SHARING is caring (Share this post with your friends)!

The Value of Passion

I will never forget a lesson I learned when I was young.

“Doing what is popular is not always right, and doing what is right is not always popular.”

and reminded:

But, what is “RIGHT” when there is endless debate in politics and social media about everything from:

*The right for LGBT marriage,

*A woman’s right for full health care coverage (or denial of such coverage until a government mandated invasive procedure is done) ,

*The #Occupy movement or the

*#Kony2012 awareness campaign.

Everyone has their own opinions, judgements, ideas and passionate displays. Each are controversial, each with passion supporters and detractors.

Is there a ‘right’ way?

We, as a society, need to stop criticizing each other for our passions, and start doing something productive. Something WE (as individuals) are passionate about. Something more than just sitting down and watching TV at the end of the night. There is so much going on the world, it is a shame to NOT get involved.

I believe:

*Deep down, each person wants to make their world a better place to be.

*Change starts small. It could be one small voice on a school yard that stands up to a bully.

*Everyone has the ability to be great catalyst for change and part of a solution.

My point:
Never stop learning.
Never stop being part of a solution.
Never stop pursuing your passion, dreams or desires.
Never stop doing what you love.
No matter what.

Coffee is my whipping boy.

I am going to start this post by saying
I LOVE COFFEE!

I love it in all of its shapes and sizes. I love that it never judges me, doesn’t care about those extra couple of pounds, or even if my socks match my shirt. I love that it is ALWAYS THERE when I need a warm hug.
Coffee will stay up with me all night watching movies, it will go out dancing with me, it won’t care what I look like ‘the morning after’, and is Always happy to see me.
Coffee is… in fact, the best boyfriend ever.
However….
I’ve been thinking of cutting back.
So, what do I do? I go around and search on the internet of all the harmful effects…. Here is what I found (full disclosure – I have no idea if any of this is true… I found it on the internet after all):

On Cholesterol
*Coffee consumption is a major contributor to the variation in levels of total cholesterol, of sedentary middle-aged men.
*Increases blood pressure
*Increases Heart rate
*Aggravates coronary heart disease, related to heart attacks by interfering with fatty acid and glucose balances in the blood. 1-5 cups of coffee daily increases the risk of heart attack by 60%. 6 or more cups a day risk is increased to 120%

On the Stomach
*Two small cups stimulates acid secretion and irritate the stomach lining for more than an hour and longer in people with ulcers, therefore will interfere with the healing of ulcers or assist int he development of ulcers. There is a five times higher incidence of stomach cancer in peopel who consume more than 5 cups daily.

On The Adrenal Gland
*This is important for those of you who follow my ‘stress-reducing’ tactics*
The adrenal gland is the controller of our nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is our rest and repair mode and the sympathetic nervous system is our fight flight response mode. Caffeine stimulates the epinephrine and norepinephrine hormones to bring about the “caffeine high” turning on the sympathetic nervous system. If this happens too often, the gland becomes exhausted and will eventually be unable to react appropriately to stress. The “caffeine high” briefly increases mental speed for the type of thinking required in mathematics but impairs motor coordination. This effect may last up to 3 hours.

Mutagenic Effect
Caffeine breaks (splits) chromosomes of cells and interferes with the repair of DNA. This inhibits the body’s ability to heal itself. (Think Wolverine in X-Men, but backwards)

Other Random Coffee Info:
*Caffeine belong to the same alkaloid group as morphine, nicotine, cocaine and strychnine.
*Been called the ‘bad habit glue’, increasing urges in users for the consumption of alcohol and nicotine.
*Caffeine is one of 273 poisonous alkaloids in coffee

My conclusion:
According to the internet, coffee is bad for you.
But, that doesn’t make me want to quit drinking it.
Besides, everything on the internet is a lie anyway, right?